


Please don't change

by boleyn13



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Edward Nygma is the Riddler, Fix-It, Friendship, Gen, Gotham season 4/Episode 19, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 07:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22492516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: That was the greatest crime of all. That this woman was holding Ed back. That she wanted him to be someone else. A numbed, stunned version of himself. Without teeth, without edge, without any of those wonderful traits that were composing the marvellous, intriguing mosaic that was Edward Nygma. She was not worthy of him, didn’t appreciate his greatest qualities and she even wanted to turn him into a lobotomized version of himself. A version so far removed from everything that Oswald held dear.And Ed let her.After Ed betrayed him for Lee, Oswald is dreading in how many ways she might change the Riddler for the worse. Something he would never do.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Please don't change

**Author's Note:**

> So, I just finished binging season 4 and here we are :)

Oswald was used to being angry, he had lost his temper so many times that the people around him had accepted his violent outbursts as a part of his personality. Which of course didn’t mean that they were any less-frightening or terrorising. That moment when hot, white rage overcame him, when the blood was pumping so fast through his veins that he was feeling dizzy, seeing stars and the only thing to do in that moment was to grab the responsible for his anger. Or the nearest bystander who Oswald didn’t happen to like very much.

That rage was coming over Oswald right now, like the perfect storm. The second the alarm went off, when Ed had set the loans on fire, had trapped him and Butch in the vault. Betrayed him for the Doc.

Only this time it was of another kind entirely. As Oswald grabbed those bars, looked at Ed and Thompkins at the other side, he could have laid waste to this city. The desire to tear down everything in front of him, to use fire and acid to leave behind nothing but scorched earth, so nothing could ever grow again. That desire was burning inside of him, consuming Oswald and the inability to do something about it was physically hurting him.

To see Ed like this. Oswald wished the bars between his hands were a human neck, so he could squeeze all life out of it. Betrayal was something that Oswald could deal with. This was Gotham after all. This was Ed and him. This was the Riddler and the Penguin.

There was no room for someone else in this equation.

Ed was talking to him and Oswald’s anger only had him hearing half of it. The important parts he got though.

“I hold no grudge on you.” “You go against Lee, you go against me.”

These words were so sickening Oswald was going to retch. He wanted to claw his way thought these bars and then through her. It would be such a relief to use his bare hands. Even in his all-consuming rage Oswald could only concentrate on Ed. He could only ever concentrate on Edward Nygma.

“She is using you!”

That brilliant, love-struck, dumb idiot turned around and walked away from him. Oswald stayed behind, trapped and screaming.

***

“You sure you don’t want to sit down?” Butch didn’t even seem annoyed, merely tired of watching Oswald pacing around the room, occasionally knocking over some furniture. Or driving the blade of his umbrella into one of the portraits on the wall. Sighing in defeat Butch leaned forward. “Is that really necessary?”

“Yes!” Spinning around Oswald snapped at him, the blade still in his hand to better make a point and because he still felt like using it. “I am currently in the dreadful state of mind of wanting to gouge somebody’s eyes out and since you are the only one here and I still might need your poor but functioning eyesight, I must settle for good old vandalism. A bit plain and usually an area for the simple-minded, but quite satisfying nonetheless.”

Saying that Oswald grabbed his cane and used it to smash a crystal statue of its pedestal. The pieces scattered all over the floor and Butch made the face of a parent dealing with a child or a teenager throwing a temper tantrum. “Great. Destroying your own madly expensive stuff because you are upset that Nygma fucked us over. Honestly, it did not come as that much of a surprise.”

“I am not mad because Ed betrayed me! We were going to rob them anyway!” Oswald’s voice seemed to be echoing off the walls as he screamed.

His outbursts had stopped impressing Butch a long time ago, he seemed mostly confused. “Then what are you so upset ab…” Butch stopped and there was clear realization in his eyes. “Oh no, seriously? Still? I mean, it’s bad enough that you fell for that weirdo to begin with. Kind of embarrassing to be honest, but that you’re still into him is just plain dumb.”

Yes, Butch was completely right, Oswald was stupid and motivated by the wrong emotions. He could not help himself though, not when it came down to Ed Nygma.

“I did not bring him back, I did not make him brilliant again to have him act this stupidly! This is not Ed Nygma! Nor the Riddler! This is some easily manipulated fool wearing a green suit!”

What else was there that Oswald could destroy?

By clearing his throat Butch obviously wanted to let him know that he was ready to engage in an actual conversation which Oswald had no interest in. Not when he could still easily visualize throwing a man out of the window. “What?!”

“So you don’t mind that Nygma screwed us out of a load of money that we could have used to cure me, but you are pissed off that he decided to side with Thompkins over you? Those aren’t the best priorities.” There was more than just the hint of a threat in that statement, but Oswald didn’t care and he longed for telling Butch that he didn’t give a flying fuck about him stopping a zombie. No, Oswald cared about Ed being his fabulous, magnificent self. Which he wasn’t at this time.

“Dear Butch, you will have to forgive me if I really don’t care too much about what you think of my priorities. I would like you to stay out of this, because you have no idea what my priorities are!” All his anger surfaced at once and he focused it on the damned portrait on the wall that he had never liked to begin with. Oswald sliced at it with the blade in his hand before ultimately burying it inside of the painting. By the end of it he was breathing hard, but none of his anger had vanished.

Behind him he could hear Butch sigh once more and it made Oswald’s heart beat faster. He was in danger to completely to lose himself absolutely in this feeling which might end up in him doing something which he could not come back from.

“I really don’t get this…”

Staring at the ruined portrait Oswald saw someone else’s face and it also was completely ruined. Torn apart. Unrecognizable. Trying to breathe easily Oswald balled both hands into fists to calm down just enough to control his own thoughts. His voice was hushed when the truth eventually spilled from his lips. “How could you? You have no idea what this feels like… The urge to put a knife to someone’s neck, because it would make every single problem disappear if she just stopped breathing. But I cannot do that, because we’ve been down that road before and all it did was him wanting to kill me!”

Maybe Butch hadn’t heard him or he just didn’t know what to say, anyway Oswald was content that he remained silent. If Butch were to tell him right now that Oswald was an idiot for wanting to hurt Lee Thompkins, because Ed had decided that he was in love with her, then Oswald would not be able to refrain from using violence.

His limbs were trembling as Oswald took an arduous step forward and slowly pulled the blade out of the ruined remains of the portrait. What a poor substitute. “I’ve been down that road before and it ultimately led to Ed being the centre piece of my club… but he put up a fight, because he is strong, smart and a manipulative bastard. What is he now? A fool striving to get the approval of a woman who could never deal with the real him. Who could never appreciate him for what he is…”

That was the greatest crime of all. That this woman was holding Ed back. That she wanted him to be someone else. A numbed, stunned version of himself. Without teeth, without edge, without any of those wonderful traits that were composing the marvellous, intriguing mosaic that was Edward Nygma. She was not worthy of him, didn’t appreciate his greatest qualities and she even wanted to turn him into a lobotomized version of himself. A version so far removed from everything that Oswald held dear.

And Ed _let_ her.

Longingly Oswald looked at the blade, but it wasn’t the solution to his dilemma. No, it would only make old grudges come back to the surface and Ed would hate him again. Oswald would be able to take it, but he did not want to. He wanted Ed back around him, in all his glory and madness. Because he was fantastic. So annoying with his pointless riddles that one was tempted to his one’s own head against a wall to stop him hear rambling about them. At the same time Ed could come up with the most wonderful, destructive schemes which weren’t only highly effective but also funny.

This was the Ed that Oswald wanted. The Riddler and Ed in one person. The one Thompkins was trying to erase from existence and Ed was complying.

All of that was happening while Oswald could merely watch, because any action from his part against the Doc would undo the fickle trust Ed and Oswald had rebuild between them.

Gritting his teeth Oswald closed his hand so tightly around the blade that he cut his own skin. He despised being helpless, being condemned to doing nothing. Was he supposed to stand by and watch how Ed was being used and obviously unable to see that?

It was the complete opposite of everything he wanted to do, but Oswald eventually fought down his own rage. Lashing out wouldn’t change anything. Sure, he could come up with some clever scheme himself, but given their history and Ed’s wits, he would quickly figure out that Oswald was behind it and the trench between them would open up again. He was damned to remain where he was. Waiting, hoping that Ed’s brilliance would resurge and that he would figure out that he was way too much of a great character to submit to the whims of a plain woman who was using him for her own benefit. Something that Oswald would never do. Perhaps he would even rather leave Gotham as a disgraced failure than trying to form Ed into something that he wasn’t.

After releasing a shaky breath Oswald released his firm grip on the blade, a few drops of red blood dripping from his fingers. Butch clearly saw, but he remained silent, considering Oswald as a lost case.

Concerning Ed, that was definitely true.

***

Days, weeks passed during which Oswald had to fight his own demons until a change finally occurred. Completely unexpected, but everything but unwanted. One of his goons informed him that a certain Edward Nygma was here to see him. The sudden nervousness surging up inside of him couldn’t be denied, Oswald shifted around in his chair, trying to find a position that would make him look completely casual and in control. He felt foolish doing so, but that happened rather often when Ed was involved. The point was to not let it show. Therefore Oswald made himself comfortable, leaned back, crossed his legs and folded his hands. This was fine, this could work.

However, Oswald shifted around a couple more times until Ed walked into the room and Oswald put one a mask of utter self-confidence and disinterest. Inside his chest his heart was beating a bit too fast. “Ed, what a surprising pleasure to have you in my modest home. What do I owe the honour to?”

While he was playing a guy who didn’t care too much about this visit Oswald looked him up and down, trying to find a hint in Ed’s appearance that would tell him why he was here. Before Ed would do so himself.

“I would rather not draw out this encounter. I am here to let you know that during our last meeting I might have said a few things here and there that I would like you to disregard. Considering that we are friends and friends tend to forgive small… missteps.”

It gave Oswald a huge amount of satisfaction that Ed was clearly feeling even more uncomfortable in this situation than him. So easy to tell by how tensed Ed’s jaw was and how he only met Oswald’s eyes ever so often. Nothing more was needed to give Oswald the boost of confidence he needed for this conversation. “I am not sure I can follow that. Would you like to elaborate, Ed?”

Oswald could hear a growl and there was the dark, sinister look on Ed’s face that would have the average man running away. Not Oswald, no it prompted a big smile to appear on his face and slight feeling of anticipation. Glee even.

“Since I am not fond of possible future misunderstandings, I wanted to let you know that any action against the Narrows and whoever happens to be in charge there… will not automatically be considered as an action against… yours truly. Myself.” Edward even reached up to adjust his glasses, clearly a sign of uneasiness and embarrassment.

Holding back and not gloating was not in Oswald’s nature, especially not when he was overcome by joy like right now. So fate was smiling at him once again and rewarded him for not interfering. Had Ed really returned to his old self? “Now what would provoke such a sudden change of mind? Have you decided that playing second fiddle in helping some unwashed beggars to pay for their drugs and booze is not fulfilling you?”

Oswald could see Ed’s hands. One of them was balled into a fist. Marvellous. “Careful, Oswald. I did not come here to be made fun of.”

“So why did you come here exactly? To tell me that your alliance with Lee Thompkins has gone up in flames? After you’ve made a fool out of yourself by degrading the great Riddler to the second-rate sidekick of a woman who isn’t all that clever or interesting to begin with!” Oswald spat these words, pretty much unable to do anything else as his rage was surging again. Ed may have come to his senses, but that didn’t change what had already happened. It did not change how stupid Ed had been and how that woman had easily used that beautifully insane mind for her own benefit without even knowing how to appreciate it. No, worse than that, she had wanted to strip him off his gorgeous madness. So Oswald would call her every terrible name that he could think of, she had deserved it. Oh, and he also wanted to see Ed’s reaction.

It was subtle enough. His upper-lip looked slightly twisted and Oswald’s attention was so focused on him that he could hear the sharp breath that Ed was drawing in. Right now it was obvious who was in control of this conversation, who had the higher ground and it still didn’t do much to satisfy Oswald.

“Alright.” Ed seemed to have decided to swallow his rising wrath, which was a pity. “Do you expect me to tell you that you are right to stroke your withering ego? So you can enjoy my humiliation even more? I am very sorry that I have decline from doing that.”

That Ed could make Oswald snap faster than everybody else should come as no surprise. The news that half of his empire going up in flames probably wouldn’t provoke such an instant, real and vile reaction. “Enjoy your humiliation?! I could never enjoy such a poor display of your inability to see that somebody is taking advantage of you. That doesn’t give me enjoyment, it makes my skin crawl! It is not enjoyment to want to slash her throat for holding you back like that and wanting to smash your head with a hammer, so the Riddler can come back out!”

“Maybe I just wanted to be around a good person for a change? Get some appreciation and have them trying to make a better person out of me?”

“Oh please, stop embarrassing yourself any further!” Most people would start crying from overwhelming anger, but Oswald wasn’t like most people, so he began laughing. “You were in love with her and let her walk you around a leash which is just…”

Finally the real Ed was breaking through that façade by not even letting Oswald finish. It was a joy to hear him yelling and that soft, dangerous growl in his voice. The mere sound of it had Oswald smiling. “Alright, you win! I made a fool out of myself! Stupid Riddler who is just as big of a moron as Ed. But I am not going to stand here and let you judge me, Oswald! An expert in the art of self-humiliation.”

That attempt to rile him up had no effect whatsoever. Oswald wasn’t going to continue this shouting match. Instead he locked eyes with Ed, letting him see that every next word was going to be nothing but the truth. “That is where you are wrong, Ed. I would never humiliate myself for your pleasure or fun. That is not who I am and it should not be you either. I would humiliate myself if that was the only way to save or help you. You helped me to become me again and I did the same for you, she would have destroyed you. Never would I try to change you into something else. A medicated, toothless version of yourself that has to hide his own brilliance and ruthlessness. I could never want something like that. I want you to be yourself, because I love all the twisted terror that comes with it. Even your stupid riddles.”

Oswald could not tell what Ed was thinking right now. He was staring, clearly trying to figure out what to do with what he had just heard. Maybe Ed was already looking for a way how to use the renewed confession against Oswald. Which would be most wonderful, because that would be something the real Ed would do. Delightful.

Instead Ed remained silent, his eyes lingering on Oswald’s face like it would give him a clue what to say. The longer the silence lasted the more nervous Oswald became, because he started to think about the possibility that Ed would just turn around and leave. That thought was unbearable.

“Say something, Ed. You can never shut up and now is not the moment to start.”

“I assumed we were past… that after you putting me on ice.”

Oswald huffed in honest amusement, a smile playing around his lips. “Riddler or not, you really are a moron, Ed.”

Every reaction would have been possible, but Ed also settled for the hint of a smile. “It appears that I cannot be a genius in every aspect of life. Well, I came here to inform you about the current state of affairs. I did that. No reason to linger. See you around, Oswald.”

Given their history this had to be in the Top 10 of friendliest goodbyes between them, but Oswald just could not let this talk end like this. Not after already spilling so many truths. “Before you leave… is there any chance if you should decide again that you want to be with a person that cares about you… that you would let that person be me?”

Ed didn’t turn around, he merely looked over his shoulder. “No, but a couple of months ago I didn’t think I could ever be in the same room with you without wanting to kill you. So there’s that.” His gorgeous, biting grin appeared on his face. “Now will you please excuse me, I have to rob a few banks and use actual guns while doing so.”

Oswald grinned back at him. “Good for you, my friend.”


End file.
